Sawasdee ka friends,
Wow what a response to my last post…
I am going to share something with you about this problem that you may not have considered before and I have not seen it discussed here yet either. I don’t know whether you will find it easy to accept or not but I hope you will give it fair consideration.
Firstly I would like to say thank you to everyone for sharing your thoughts on this hot topic and to give positive congratulations to those who have a successful and happy intercultural relationship with a Thai woman.
For those with a negative experience I am sorry for your experience and I do understand completely your attitude and respect your opinion. I have shared information with many of my western friends about Thai women and also my husband who was a little surprised when he first learned about this negative side we have because he had no experience of it himself directly. This is why I started my Consultancy website because before that I had people coming to me all the time for advice on their relationships and not just between western men and Thai women either and so I hope I can give some perspective that might help you.
I had a friend in Australia who had met a Thai girl, purely by accident while he was traveling on business. He was not looking for anyone but ended up falling in love with this girl. This man is much older than her, at that time he was 61 and she just 37. I do think this much age difference is difficult to make work, not impossible but it is difficult and can have so many dangers. He was also a man of good status in his business and a very intelligent man as well, defiantly not a stupid Farang just looking for fun, which is unfortunately how many of these girls see older western men. But yes he did become the ATM machine, he took her to Australia and treated her very well. New cars, lovely house, clothes, jewelery and even cosmetic surgery to improve her body even though she was already slim and attractive. Because of his job and status he even got her the opportunity to shake hands with the PM of Australia and could also support her in any business she might like to do. They also had a daughter together and so really there is not much she could want for….or so you would think.
‘Because one day she decided it was not enough and told him she had someone new and he was younger and richer than he was and so she would leave and be with her new man now’
But things did not turn out well for her because her new man, who BTW was Farang was not what he pretended to be. He was not rich at all and actually he locked her in a room and stole her car. It was he who was actually the scammer, con artist and now she had nothing. She turned back to her EX husband for help, and he did help her. This is where many will call him stupid but don’t forget they had a 5 yr old daughter, so he was not stupid but just kind and responsible. Even when she was hiring lawyers to try and get more money from him, even though he would happily give it and kept saying to her there is no need to waste money with lawyers, she could not stop herself.
“Maybe the time he was stupid was in the beginning when his brain left his body for a moment and he allowed himself to be weak. His usual intelligence did not serve him when his emotions and desires took over”
Don’t get me wrong I do not wish to criticize men here, just that as humans we are all subject to the power of emotions and desire.
Until now she is still single and cannot find anyone and he does not want her back. She has lost weight and is actually sick with an illness that Doctors cannot diagnose. Her cosmetic surgery is now causing her pain and she has seen to have it reversed. She is no longer beautiful and attractive, just bitter and ugly. He is still single also and even though he found another much better Thai woman he was not able to keep her because he could not clear his past.
I don’t know whether you will believe in this or not and for me it does not matter. I know sometimes the West have trouble in believing in this concept and I don’t want you to just think this is just an easy way out, or an easy solution or excuse because it is much deeper than that. Even though the belief of Karma is a big part of Thai culture it does not mean that every Thai person understands it or really follows it as we can see from this story.
“Like many Thai women she was seduced by the West, by bright shiny objects and fell into the trap of wanting more and more always thinking she could have better; “That the grass was greener“ I think you say in the West. She forgot who she was and where she came from and did not appreciate the opportunity she had been given”
I have had a passion for many years now to write a book about this, to especially remind Thai women of who they really are. For him he helped fuel her desire by giving her everything, by pouring more gas into the tank because he had been blinded by love and desire and emotion.
So with Karma if you do good thing then you deserve good things and if you do bad things then you deserve bad things. But karma can work in subtle and mysterious ways sometimes and does not have to happen straight away or in the same way or from the same person because that is not how the energy of karma works, but it will happen and you cannot escape it. You cannot hide from your truth because eventually it will come out in your karma, and everyone has their own karma both good and bad.
“If everyone would take responsibility for their own self, to do their duty and be the best they can be then things like this may not happen. But yes we are all human and we are not perfect and through mistakes we learn”
So we need to learn in the positive way. Learn from the past but not get stuck in the past. Learn to let go of the negative things by accepting, forgiving and moving forward with a positive attitude. Follow our hearts and be true to ourselves and learn to master ourselves and our emotions before we look to others to blame.
I believe this applies no matter what culture you are, what religion you follow, what color you are or where you were born and how much money you have or don’t have. If we are to continue with intercultural relationships as the world gets smaller everyday then East and West need to learn to live together, to accept differences both good and bad and that depends on which side you look at it from.
So how do you feel now?
Is there a right or wrong?
Do you believe in Karma?
Are all Thai women still Gold diggers?
Are all western men just after a trophy wife?
We all need money to survive in this world it is true. It is hard to live a life without it unless you want to become a monk and serve in that way. Thailand has either rich or poor, we don’t have a real middle class like the West, not yet anyway. The West and Western men are seen as fair game in many parts of our society, especially those that we are discussing here and so it is not surprising that we hear so many stories that are negative like that one.
“But I can tell you there is a positive side. There are good Thai women and plenty of them who are not just after your money, but you will not easily find them in bars and clubs”
Next time I will share something more positive on this subject to show you the other side of Karma and of Thai women. I hope that you will all continue to be involved and discuss it too. Whether you have a positive or negative experience does not matter I appreciate if you share it anyway.
Angella Quote of the Week
“Emotions can be our faithful servants or our wreckless masters”
With love, hope and solutions
Angella
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